Gout, Johnny Morris, and no fear of the law.
Monday May 22, 2017.
Welcome to "Actual Things Preston Said", a daily blog where we will be recapping and archiving the outlandish claims made by our favorite noodle head. Today was a long run, so we have plenty of content, lets dive into it!
"I already thought jumping off the bridge was against the law so I'm not scared"
"I got caught jumping off the bridge into Lake Springfield and that's against the law but we didn't get in trouble for it"
Ah yes, a classic "I got caught but I didn't get in any trouble" claim! No one can sweet talk them coppers like our dearest Presto. It must be because of this special skill that he has no fear of blatantly breaking city ordinances that are heavily enforced.
*Stops in the middle of an actual road with traffic (yes, the MIDDLE) to take his shoe and sock off to unwrap his foot that he insisted the trainer wrap, catches back up with the group*
"Yeah the trainer used some name for whats wrong with my foot but I wasn't listening"
Coach (Jokingly): "Yeah you probably have gout man"
"Yeah, honestlyyyy, that's what he said! I've had it for like five years."
Welcome to "Actual Things Preston Said", a daily blog where we will be recapping and archiving the outlandish claims made by our favorite noodle head. Today was a long run, so we have plenty of content, lets dive into it!
"I already thought jumping off the bridge was against the law so I'm not scared"
"I got caught jumping off the bridge into Lake Springfield and that's against the law but we didn't get in trouble for it"
Ah yes, a classic "I got caught but I didn't get in any trouble" claim! No one can sweet talk them coppers like our dearest Presto. It must be because of this special skill that he has no fear of blatantly breaking city ordinances that are heavily enforced.
*Stops in the middle of an actual road with traffic (yes, the MIDDLE) to take his shoe and sock off to unwrap his foot that he insisted the trainer wrap, catches back up with the group*
"Yeah the trainer used some name for whats wrong with my foot but I wasn't listening"
Coach (Jokingly): "Yeah you probably have gout man"
"Yeah, honestlyyyy, that's what he said! I've had it for like five years."
gout
ɡout/
noun
- 1.a disease in which defective metabolism of uric acid causes arthritis, especially in the smaller bones of the feet, deposition of chalkstones, and episodes of acute pain.
Personally I don't think that someone who eats "one and half "meals a day could have ANY sort of "defective metabolism"
"Yeah my brother works at Bass Pro"
REALLY TELL ME MORE PLEASE
"Sometimes, you'll just be workin, and Johnny Morris will just walk up behind you and start talking to you"
Coach (Not buying any of this BS) "Really...?"
"Yeah, I've actually met him before too, he's a really nice guy."
NO WAY
"Yeah I was at a concert with my dad and it got delayed because of the rain so I was walking back to the car and I walked past a guy who stopped and shook my hand and said hi to me, and I just kept walking, then realized, wait that was Johnny Morris!!"
GOODNESS!!
"Yeah one time my brother was working an event at top of the rock and they were pouring some concert and Johnny Morris ran up and jumped and slid in the concrete they were pouring, and the guy working starting going off on him and just yelling and cussing him out, and Johnny Morris just stood there taking it all, and when he was done he asked him "Do you know who I am?" and the guy said "No I don't give a F**k who you are!" and Johnny Morris said "Well have fun not having a job for the next, like, 25 years!"
WHAT A NICE GUY HE SOUNDS LIKE A REAL TREAT
Honestly tho they would probably get along pretty well.
BONUS TIME!!!!
Can you pick out what Presto DID NOT SAY out of these four claims? Find out the answer tomorrow!
A.) "Yeah my grandpa caught a shark one time"
B.) "Yeah I made it to Branson in 15 mins one time"
C.) "Yeah I'm going to get a D1 football scholarship"
D.) "I'm too poor to go to a football combine"
It's only Monday friends, state week is going to be good.